SUCCESS STRATEGIES

1 Tell absolutely everyone you know, that you have stopped smoking and tell them that this time you have it conquered. Tell them, also, that you know that you will never smoke again and if you ever do, you will be a fool. Better still, tell any rivals, or Enemies, or work colleagues who you don’t get on too well with!

You don’t need to be a psychologist to work out the reasoning behind this ploy. The more people you tell and the more determined you appear to them to become a non smoker, then the more difficult it will be for you to start smoking again. Sometimes, when the going gets rough, the thought of losing face in front of a work colleague, or your mum, or your boss, may be the thing that keeps you from smoking until that particular bad patch passes. The same logic applies to telling a rival or enemy.

The effect is even more pronounced because the loss of face appears even more severe. You may, of course, feel frightened to take this course of action in case you do fail, but if this thought of losing face does frighten you, then what better incentive to stay stopped? Go on, make that commitment!

2 Ask all of your friends, colleagues and relations to support you by firstly, taking you seriously and secondly, by never offering you a cigarette.

Again, the value of this tactic is self evident, If your associates don’t take you seriously then it makes it easier for you to relapse in their presence. A word of warning here. Some of you will find that no matter how much you implore some people to support you, they will not take you seriously. Some individuals may actually even encourage you to smoke again. These individuals sound uncannily like your little ‘voice’, and their problem may be that they feel threatened by your resolve to beat your nicotine addiction. They may be people who have little or no belief in their own ability to stop smoking and don’t want you to succeed for fear that they will be left behind. They are clearly, very self interested and should be regarded with the same disdain that you have for your little ‘voice’. Sometimes these individuals are non smokers or ex smokers and their problem may well be that they cannot bear to see someone making good or succeeding at something.

Quite often this is because many such individuals feel bad about themselves and try to compensate for their negative feelings by trying to drag others down to their level.

An alternative theory as to why these people would act with such blatant disregard for the welfare of others is that they may be ignorant of the seriousness of the situation. Although lets face it, if you don’t know by now that smoking is a ridiculously dangerous and stupid thing to do, then you will probably never know!

Ask yourself this question if you find someone trying to encourage you to smoke, and you are wondering if it is because they just don’t know any better:

Would they encourage their own children to smoke?

- I don’t think so!

If you do come across one of these individuals who try to talk you or joke you into smoking, or if they continue to offer you cigarettes after you have asked them not to, assert yourself by taking them to one side and telling them straight that you are deadly serious about stopping, that you expect them to be a bit more supportive, and if they feel that they still can’t take you seriously then ask them frankly to stay out of your way. If after all that they still don’t respond, I think it is safe to say that you have either got yourself an enemy, or possibly a friend who is just exceptionally stupid!

3 Ask someone you respect and see often, to be your stop smoking
sponsor. Ask them to check on you twice a day (noon and 8,00pm are good times) to see how you are getting on. Ask them to read this book or teach them the basic principles in order that they know best how to offer you support. The knowledge that your sponsor is going to contact you on a regular basis for the first couple of weeks will help you to maintain a high level of motivation, and this will be particularly useful if you encounter any rough times. It is important to stress to your sponsor just how serious you are, in order that they can commit themselves to maintaining regular contact with you. If you find that the person you have chosen is turning out to be unreliable, then quickly choose someone else in addition to them, because for the first two or three weeks in particular, this high level of support could mean the difference between success and failure. Once again I would like to remind you of the importance of following this guidance. To ignore it because you think you know best or because it is too much hassle is to plan for failure.

4 On an A4 sheet of paper, draw two lines of seven squares. Divide each square into four quarters, each quarter to represent a quarter day, for a period of two weeks. Use a marker to colour in each successful quarter day that you have not smoked, until you
reach the end of the two weeks.

Then make a similar chart for the next two weeks, except mark it in days. At the successful completion of these four weeks (hurray! your first month) make a chart for one month and mark it in full days. By the completion of this second month you will find that you no longer need to keep counting the days, as the vast majority of your symptoms will be at a low level, and many of them will have gone completely. If, however, you find that you are a low pain threshold individual and you would like to make another daily chart for the following month, then please feel free to do so. The bottom line is that the more support you get, from any source, the more likely you are to succeed.

5. Reward yourself. In your first week reward yourself with a little treat for every successful day completed.

This could be something like buying your favourite magazine to read in bed at the end of a successful smoke free day, or a special food, or a favourite drink at your supper time. It could be, for example, putting the money that you have saved from not buying cigarettes into a jar, in order to save for a bigger treat, or perhaps a nice bunch of flowers for yourself. Anything, in fact, that will remind you that you are a success and as such deserve these little treats. Treating yourself like this is a good way to reinforce your initial commitment to stopping smoking by allowing you to feel like the winner that you have now become.

6 Each night as you go to bed tell yourself out loud:

“Today I have won the battle with my little ‘voice’. I am strong and successful. Tomorrow I will win the battle also, no matter what comes my way.”

On getting out of bed each morning tell yourself “Yesterday I was a success, today I will be a success also, no matter what comes my way.”

This simple motivational technique will help to ensure that you recognise just how well you are doing and will encourage you to stay on track on any given day.

Don’t worry about how you are going to remember all this information. In the final chapter this entire book will be summarised into a simple, easy to follow ‘battle plan’ which you can follow in your daily life, until you are strong enough to go it alone.

7 Do not let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Any of these four conditions can leave you feeling exceptionally Vulnerable, even if you have only been exposed to them for a short time. Keep this in your mind with the help of the acronym H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.)

Lets take a brief look at each of these conditions separately:

HUNGRY - as mentioned before, the feelings of hunger are remarkably similar to the feelings of nicotine withdrawal. That being the case, it makes good sense not to add to these withdrawal feelings by letting yourself get hungry.

ANGRY - When people get angry there is a tendency for two things to happen. Firstly, rational judgement can disappear and the decision to not smoke can suddenly no longer seem to be overly important. Secondly, angry people are stressed people and there is barely a smoker alive who doesn’t automatically reach for a cigarette when feeling stressed. This combination of high stress and impaired judgement is an obvious a recipe for disaster, Simply being aware of this potential failing point will go some way towards allowing you to successfully overcome your anger, without having to resort to smoking.

LONELY - Loneliness is one of the most powerful of our emotions. If you allow yourself to become lonely or isolated you will run the risk of suffering from self pity, or ‘the poor me’s’ as it is widely know in the addiction field. Self pity, just like anger, can lead to a distorted perspective of what is important, and subsequently you could find yourself saying something like, “Sure nobody really cares, what’s the point of stopping smoking, aren’t we all going to die sooner or later anyway?” Again, this is just you little ‘voice’ taking advantage of your temporary vulnerability. In order to avoid this situation, try to stay around people as much as possible, particularly in the first two or three weeks.

TIRED - Again, just like hunger, the symptoms of tiredness are remarkably similar to nicotine withdrawal. Try to rest as often as possible, get plenty of sleep and take as many early nights as you can, particularly in the first two or three weeks when you will be at your most vulnerable.

8 Be aware that sometime in the future it is likely that you will have to face a major crisis.
You may contract a serious illness or be involved in a car accident, you may suffer the breakdown of a long term relationship or lose your job. Life can be very cruel sometimes, but no matter what happens to you, you do not need to smoke. Smoking will not make things better and if you tell yourself that it will be OK to smoke if a major crisis comes along, then you are doomed to fail. Life being what it is, you can be sure that sooner or later you will have a crisis of one sort or another to face.

You need to decide now that if, or when your crisis occurs, you are not going to smoke.
The value of implementing these support structures cannot be over emphasised. Setting up and using these structures will certainly result in you successfully stopping smoking. To ignore them or to choose only the ones you feel most comfortable with will significantly reduce your chances of becoming a non smoker.